A colleague of mine passed away this week. Utterly tragic, gone long before he should have gone, he’s left a big hole in many peoples’ lives. It’s really sad and the whole company has felt the shockwaves, but one of my first reactions on hearing the news, was to reach out to his team, seek out the people he was closest to and offer them my condolences.

Why? Because I know how it feels to receive not just bad news, but horrible, life-changing news. To feel so sad that you can’t speak. To feel helpless and hopeless, not knowing where to turn or who to turn to. At times like that, we need people to reach out to us.

Around 10 years ago, following a routine surgery, I was called back to the hospital. I thought it was for a quick check up, but the news that followed affected the rest of my life. They had found a cancerous tumour in my body. I was speechless, literally unable to speak. It took me a long time to process; going through various stages of sadness, determination, helplessness. And it’s at times like that, when you are at your most vulnerable, that the people who really care, who really give a shit come to the fore. And, sadly, those who don’t care, fade away.

You see, everyone handles bad news differently. Some people want to talk about it. Others don’t. But if you don’t offer a friendly ear, then there’s no talking at all. You may not have all the answers. You may not know anything about it. But just being there to listen can mean the world to someone going through something they don’t know how to process.

And so, for the last 10 years or so, I’ve made sure that I get myself comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations. Because being there to listen to someone who is going through a shitty time, isn’t any where near as bad as actually going through what they are. Very few people approach these subjects head on, and I’ve found that by having these conversations, it’s really deepened my relationships with good friends, and also with people I’ve known less well, enriching my life too!

Because a short period of discomfort, of putting ourselves out there and saying “I’m not afraid to have this conversation with you and I’m here for you, whatever you’re going through” can mean the absolute world to someone and can be the difference in helping them overcome whatever it is they are going through.

So the next time a difficult, or uncomfortable situation occurs, rather than ignoring it, or just passing pleasantries, attack it head on. Let that person know you are there for them and don’t be uncomfortable about it. You’ll make a huge difference.