confidence

Lesson 16. Never Give Up. But Know When to Quit.

I’ve always told myself ‘I’m not a Quitter!’

A lot of this stems from my family history and the hardships my ancestors had to endure. I always told myself that, I’m the modern world, my life could never be as hard, tough or difficult as theirs and if they managed to get through, then I should absolutely be able to! It’s led me to a number of situations, both positive and has made me realise there is a difference between quitting and giving up.

As a frequent runner, sometimes I have good days and bad days. Sometimes, the miles just disappear beneath you and you have energy left to burn. Others it’s a real struggle to even get started and, there’s always a temptation to finish early or not go out at all. I try to self-justify it with ‘I’m too tired’ or something or other, but the truth is that I made a plan, that is achievable, that I have control over, and I’m giving up. I then remind myself of my tough-ass forebears and get my sorry ass out the door, or to the finish line I had planned pre-run.

But sometimes, there are situations when it’s ok to quit. Where actually, stopping and aborting Is the smart thing to do. It’s often much harder to see this point. I often watch deluded entrepreneurs on Dragon’s Den who have sunk everything they have, risked their family home and the investments of friends and family into what is just an awful idea, awfully executed and think to myself ‘I wish they’d realised the quitting-point much sooner’.

Quitting is something we do when we don’t have control over a situation. Another great ‘quitting-point’ can be in a conversation or argument. You have no control over what the other person or party says or does and so you need to realise what the eight ‘quitting-point’ is for you and when to bail out for a better result.

In examples like Dragon’s Den, the quitting-point can be hard to see because we believe we are in control of the circumstances and thus quitting would be giving up. But we aren’t in control of funds we don’t have, we aren’t in control of other people’s perceptions of our brands or products and sometimes we just have to admit that it may be a bad idea.

So, whilst I’ve known for a long time that I’m the type of person who never gives up, more recently I’ve come to realise that sometimes, if circumstances are beyond my control, it’s ok to bail out, to quit for a better outcome.

Lesson 15. Stop Trying To Hack Everything. Learn, Practice and Do It.

#LifeHack

You see this hashtag appearing more and more. All the great ways you can ‘hack’ difficult tasks in life. Sometimes, they can be helpful like ‘How to repair a puncture with a piece of chewing gum’ or ‘using vinegar to repel mosquitoes’. But increasingly (and somewhat despairingly), I’m finding they’re becoming ways to avoid learning how to actually do important things.

My 7 year old son recently told me that he could #LifeHack his shoes, tucking the untied laces under his foot – rather than doing the laces. I told him in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t be able to tuck the laces under forever and that at some point, he’d need to put in the effort and learn how to tie his bloody shoe laces! I mean, what happens when he needs to tie the cord on his swimming trunks? He won’t be able to tuck that under anything and he won’t want them floating off in the swimming pool!

I know modern life is frantic, busy, and we all need to try and claw back as much time as possible. But for some things, there are just no life hacks – you need to learn, practice and just do it.

Lesson 3. Everybody Shits.

I’ll be honest, this is one that came from one of my colleagues and, even though it sounds like a re-hash of an old R.E.M song, it really resonated with me.

We were discussing an upcoming meeting with our CEO and I wanted to check in and make sure she was feeling confident about it. Her response… “Everybody shits”.

It’s so true. Nobody is so super-human or uber-special that they don’t shit. Just to break that down for you:

Your CEO shits.

Hollywood Movie Stars shit.

Glamorous beauty models shit.

Even Mother Theresa, Ghandi and Jesus used to shit.

And sometimes, those shits won’t be lovely one-wipe aces. Sometimes they’ll be horrible, sticky, smelly turds that take like 12 wipes.

We all suffer from imposter syndrome sometimes, believing that we’re not good enough or don’t deserve to be in the situation we find ourselves in. It’s not true. Don’t be overawed by anybody. You ARE good enough.

So next time you are in a situation where you feel nervous about meeting with someone, just remember, they may also be nervous about meeting with you, they’re only human and yes, they shit too!