management

Lesson 8. Be Gracious In Victory. Be Gracious In Defeat.

Last week I attended an awards ceremony for work. It’s an annual do where, over the past few years we’ve always done really well, surprisingly well, actually, against the odds, beating some of the bigger players in our market to some of the biggest awards.

I’ve always been really proud to pick up awards for my work, I mean, who isn’t? It’s great gratification for all the hard graft, creative ideas and teamwork and shows that both our industry and our customers think we’re doing a great job. It feels ace to walk up on that stage infant of your peers and to be crowned ‘the best’ at what you do.

Well, last week, I really let myself (and my team) down. Having been nominated for 3 awards, we picked up the first two and everything was looking great. Everyone was buzzing, the team were ecstatic and we were convinced that the third and final award we were up for, the most prestigious, was surely in the bag. But it wasn’t. We were pipped at the post by an arch competitor – and I was f**king furious.

Rather thank congratulate our competition on their win, I leered at them over on the next table, made sarcastic comments and accused them of foul play. How could they beat us? We know we’re the best at what we do, we’ve won this award the past two years and our standards haven’t slipped. The thing is, even if there was foul play, even if … whatever… there was no excuse for my behaviour. It was unprofessional and let myself and my team down.

To be honest, I think I was just so disappointed that our great work hadn’t been acknowledged and rewarded. I felt in some way that meant I had failed my team. It felt like failure and nobody likes failure. My team were brilliantly consoling, “we’ve still won two awards”, “it’s still really great” etc But I compounded that with my reaction and, having reflected over the past few days, I can now see that basically, I was just a sore loser. And I regret it.

What I should have done is congratulate our competitor and tell them we’d put up more of a fight next year. I didn’t, but I will. Because you can’t win all the time. Sometimes you won’t and yes, it’s crap, no-one likes to lose. But that’s part of life and if you behave like I did, you set a bad example and make yourself out to be a bit of a c**t to be honest. Whilst it hurts to lose, the winners deserve your congratulations and you know, why not make their win sweeter by saying “well done” than by trying to limit it – they’ve also worked hard, smart and together.

So next time you win, or next time you lose, be gracious. Don’t overdo the celebration if you win, but equally, don’t be too hard on your opponent (or yourself) if you lose. It’s all a part of life and over the course of your life these things will even themselves out. Where you can effect an imbalance is in how you behave towards others and if you can be a nice person 100% of the time, whether you win or lose, then you’ll always be a winner.

Lesson 5. Great Leaders Lead From the Front AND From the Back.

My wife recently had some issues at work with her manager. Long story short, her boss had absolutely zero management ability, leadership skills or the desire to achieve these things. It got me thinking about what makes a good leader, not just in the workplace but in general.

You always hear people saying that good leaders “lead from the front” and this is absolutely true. A GOOD leader sets the standard, leads from example and stands firm at the top of the team structure, shouldering the burden of the team and being the first one to nat away any issues that come along. They shouldn’t be afraid to roll their sleeves up and get their hands dirty.

But a GREAT leader, as well as leading from the front, also leads from the back. Whilst doing the above, they are there behind their team pushing them forwards, simultaneously showing them the way and then stepping back, allowing them to shoulder the responsibility , live the experience, and shine for themselves.

In my experience of leadership, it is leading from behind which is hardest. I’ll readily admit, I’m a bit of a control freak and ceding control, standing back and allowing my people to take control is difficult, but it can also be massively rewarding when it pays off. Which it won’t always. But that’s fine too. You need to allow your people to make mistakes and learn form them, otherwise how will they ever learn?

This is the absolute essence of good leadership, setting the standard, showing the way and then trusting your people to achieve. Getting ahead is not about taking the credit for the work your people do, but pushing the credit onto them, letting them see just how great a job they’ve done and then allowing them to pull you forwards at the same time.

This is part of the reason I get funny about my team referring to me as ‘boss’ or ‘manager’. I don’t ‘manage’ them and I certainly don’t boss them. I try to lead them – from front and back – so that they can achieve everything they are capable of and shine by themselves.